Relationships Diagnostic Tool

A 0–100 Diagnostic Tool to Measure How Healthy (or Toxic) Your Relationship Really Is

The ENCS gives every relationship a single, brutally honest number between 0 and 100.

– 85–100 → Secure, high-empathy relationship (very rare) 
– 70–84 → Mostly healthy with minor fixes needed 
– 50–69 → Yellow zone – one partner is draining the other 
– 30–49 → Red zone – active narcissistic dynamics 
– 0–29 → Toxic trauma bond – leave or get professional help immediately

There are only 20 yes/no questions. 
Each “Yes” from the empath side = +5 points 
Each “Yes” from the narc side = –5 points 

Final score = (Total Empath Yes × 5) + (Total Narc Yes × –5)

### Empath Side (Answer as the person who cares more / gives more / worries more)

1. When you are upset, do they comfort you without making it about themselves? 
2. Do they remember small things you like and act on them without being asked? 
3. Can you show your worst emotions (cry, rage, panic) and still feel safe with them? 
4. Do they admit mistakes and apologise with changed behaviour (not just words)? 
5. Do they celebrate your successes even when they are struggling? 
6. Do you feel freer to be yourself than with anyone else? 
7. Do they keep your secrets and vulnerabilities 100 % safe? 
8. When you set a boundary, do they respect it without punishment or sulking? 
9. Do they encourage your independence and separate friendships? 
10. Do you trust them with your phone, money, or deepest fears without anxiety?

Maximum Empath score: +50

### Narc Side (Be honest – these are the subtle and not-so-subtle red flags)

1. Do they give you intense love-bombing early on, then suddenly go cold? 
2. Do they get disproportionately angry or silent when you say “no”? 
3. Have they ever rewritten history (“I never said that”) when you confront them? 
4. Do they compare you unfavourably to others or their exes? 
5. Do they make you feel guilty for having needs? 
6. Do they flirt or keep “back-ups” to make you jealous or insecure? 
7. When you achieve something, do they downplay it or shift focus to themselves? 
8. Have they ever threatened to leave or harm themselves to control you? 
9. Do they lie even about small, unnecessary things? 
10. After conflicts, do you always end up apologising even when it was their fault?

Maximum Narc penalty: –50

### Quick Scoring Examples

Couple A 
Empath answers Yes to 9 → +45 
Partner answers Yes to 1 narc question → –5 
ENCS = 90 → Extremely healthy

Couple B 
Empath answers Yes to 4 → +20 
Partner answers Yes to 7 narc questions → –35 
ENCS = –15 → Severe narcissistic abuse

Couple C (most common today) 
Empath answers Yes to 7 → +35 
Partner answers Yes to 5 narc questions → –25 
ENCS = 60 → Limping along in the yellow zone; one person is slowly burning out

### Bonus Reality Check (add or subtract directly)

– If physical violence or sexual coercion ever happened → –30 instantly 
– If the empath has started having panic attacks, hair loss, or suicidal thoughts because of the relationship → –20 
– If both partners scored 8+ on the empath side and 0–1 on the narc side → +10 (mutual secure attachment – almost unicorn level)

This score is not theory. It is the distillation of thousands of recovered empaths and survivors across years of patterns.

Save it. Use it. Share it. 
And remember: 
Love that requires you to shrink, apologise for existing, or walk on eggshells is not love. 
It’s a trauma bond wearing love’s mask.

Your peace is not negotiable. 
Your ENCS will tell you, in one number, whether you are building a sanctuary or digging your own grave with a smile.

What’s your score today?

Constitutional Citizens Creation.

Margadarshi Sushikshan Abhiyan 2035

(Fully Secular, Constitution-First, Universally Inclusive Version)

Official Name (bi-lingual)

Margadarshi Sushikshan Abhiyan 2035
मार्गदर्शी सुशिक्षण अभियान २०३५
“A National Civic Movement for Character-First Education rooted in the Indian Constitution and Universal Human Rights”

Core Mission (one sentence)

By 2035, ensure every child in India receives, along with academic skills, an unbreakable foundation of constitutional values and universal human rights, so that power is always used with justice, compassion and accountability.

The Symbol (completely religion-neutral & inclusive)

• Men grow a beard or moustache for the month of November → symbol of personal commitment and public witness
• Women and clean-shaven participants tie a tricolour thread (saffron-white-green) on the right wrist → symbol of constitutional vow
  → No religious connotation is attached in any official material. The beard/thread are treated as “visible civic pledges” exactly like a voter’s ink mark or a soldier’s uniform.

The Common Pledge (taken by people of all faiths and no faith)

(Recorded and uploaded every 1 November)

“I, a citizen of India,
in the spirit of the Preamble of our Constitution
and the Universal Declaration of Human Rights,
take this visible pledge (beard / tricolour thread)
to become a Margadarshi — a guide and guardian —
so that every child grows up with
Justice, Liberty, Equality and Fraternity in their heart,
and never tolerates corruption, nepotism, or cruelty in any form.
I commit myself for the year 2025-26
and renew this pledge every November
until India achieves character-first education by 2035.”

The 5-Pillar Civic Pledge (100 % secular & constitutional)

1. Home First (Age 0–7)
   I will teach every week at least one value from the Preamble or Fundamental Duties (Articles 39, 41, 46, 51A) and one story of human courage (can be from any culture or Indian freedom struggle).
2. Peer-Group Accountability
   I will form or join a “Margadarshi Circle” (5–21 citizens) that meets monthly to keep each other honest and away from nepotism, bribery, and clan-based favours.
3. School & College Volunteerism
   I will give at least 35 hours every year to any government or low-income school/college to conduct weekly 35-minute sessions on

• Fundamental Rights & Duties
• Directive Principles
• Real-life stories of constitutional heroes (Ambedkar, Bhagat Singh, Rani Lakshmibai, Periyar, Savitribai Phule, global figures like Nelson Mandela, Malala, Martin Luther King, etc.)

1. Professional Integrity
   In my profession I will mentor at least one younger person every year to place constitutional morality and public good above money, power, or family connections.
2. Public Witness
   I will keep the beard or tricolour thread until 31 December and remove it only in a community ceremony while publicly reporting what I did this year to strengthen constitutional values in education.

Annual Calendar (Nov–Dec)

• 1–10 Nov: Nationwide Pledge Drive (#Margadarshi2035)
• 11 Nov (National Education Day – Maulana Azad’s birthday): Launch of the 19-Day Constitutional Values Challenge
• 26 Nov (Constitution Day): Special school sessions & padayatras
• 10 Dec (International Human Rights Day): Mid-campaign renewal events
• 31 Dec: National Margadarshi Visarjan & Report Day
  → Mass beard-shaving + thread-untying ceremonies in every district.
  → Live national broadcast from Central Hall of Parliament or India Gate.

2035 Targets (measurable & secular)

• 35 crore citizens take the civic pledge at least once in 10 years
• 35 lakh schools/colleges introduce at least one weekly period on “Constitutional Values & Human Rights”
• Zero tolerance (legal + social) for nepotism and paid seats in medical, engineering, judicial and civil-service coaching/admissions
• Every child born after 2025 learns the Preamble and at least 35 real-life stories of justice and courage before age 12.

Inclusive Taglines

• “This November, grow a beard or tie the tricolour — for the Constitution in every heart”
• “Daḍhi ya tiranga dhaga — dono ka matlab ek: Bharatiya Samvidhan Zindabad”
• “From Macaulay’s clerks to Ambedkar’s children”
• “No faith required, only citizenship demanded”

Immediate Action for 2025 Launch (this November)

1. 60-second reel: grieving mother (blurred) → text of Article 21 (Right to Life) → pledge → call to action.
2. Tag 35 prominent Indians from all fields and regions with the question: “Will you grow the Margadarshi beard or tie the tricolour thread this November for India’s children?”
3. Website: margadarshi2035.org (content in 15 scheduled languages + English).
4. First 35 volunteers shave their heads if the launch reel doesn’t cross 35 lakh views in 7 days — pure civic satyagraha.

Prasad ji,
Now the movement belongs to every Indian — Hindu, Muslim, Sikh, Christian, Buddhist, Jain, atheist, agnostic — because its foundation is the Constitution we all share and the universal human values no one can deny.

The conch is secular.
The battlefield is the conscience of 1.4 billion citizens.
Let the pledge begin.

Margadarshi2035 #TirangaThread #BeardForConstitution

Jai Hind. Jai Samvidhan. 🙏🇮🇳

NavYug mein Poshak_Yoga ka Upayog Aur Dur Upayog.

Parental Covert Controls & Child Abuse in Modern India: A 2025 Perspective

Child abuse in India remains a deeply entrenched crisis, affecting millions of children across urban and rural divides. While overt physical and sexual violence garners headlines, covert controls—subtle, insidious manipulations by parents or guardians—often fly under the radar, inflicting long-term psychological damage. These include emotional blackmail, excessive surveillance, conditional love, and parental alienation, which erode a child’s sense of autonomy and self-worth. In 2025, with rising digital access and societal pressures, these issues have intensified, fueled by economic stress, cultural norms of “discipline,” and inadequate mental health support. This analysis draws on recent data and reports to highlight the scope, forms, and urgent need for reform.

The Scale of the Problem: Alarming Statistics

India’s child population (under 18) exceeds 440 million, making it the world’s largest. Yet, protection lags far behind. According to the National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) 2023 report (the latest comprehensive data as of November 2025), 177,335 crimes against children were registered—a 9.2% increase from 2022, translating to 488 child victims daily. The crime rate stands at 39.9 per lakh child population, up from 36.6 the previous year. Key breakdowns include: Category Cases (2023) % of Total Key Notes Kidnapping & Abduction 79,884 45% Highest volume; often linked to trafficking or familial disputes. POCSO Act (Sexual Offences) 67,694 38.2% Includes online exploitation; Maharashtra topped with 8,503 cases (2017–2019 trend continuing). Other (e.g., Foeticide, Child Labour) 29,757 16.8% Underreported emotional/neglect cases not fully captured.

Online child sexual abuse material (CSAM) reports hit a record 291,273 in 2024, with India’s National Cyber Crime Reporting Portal logging 1.94 lakh child pornography incidents by April 2024—part of over 6.9 million global tips since 2019. A 2007 Ministry of Women and Child Development study (still relevant) found 53% of children face sexual abuse, with 50% emotional abuse; boys and girls equally affected, often by known adults.

Delhi reports the highest rate (128.5 per lakh children), with 7,769 cases in 2023, including 1,757 POCSO violations. Underreporting is rampant—UNICEF estimates only 1 in 10 cases surfaces—due to stigma, fear, and family cover-ups.

Forms of Child Abuse: From Overt to Covert

Abuse manifests in multiple layers, but covert controls are particularly insidious in modern India, where “high-achieving” parenting masks emotional tyranny.

1. Physical Abuse: Includes beatings, often justified as “discipline.” A 2025 case in Sangli saw a father beat his NEET-aspirant daughter Sadhna Bhosale to death over a mock test score, highlighting pressure cooker parenting. NCRB notes a 70% rise in minor rapes/abductions (2013–2023 trend). Corporal punishment, though banned in schools (2010 Right to Education Act), persists in homes.
2. Sexual Abuse: Protection of Children from Sexual Offences (POCSO) Act, 2012 covers penetrative assault to harassment, but 80% of victims are girls under 14. Perpetrators are often relatives (50%+ cases), enabling covert grooming via “family honor” silencing. Online surge: COVID-19 lockdowns spiked digital exploitation, with apps misused for stalking.
3. Emotional & Psychological Abuse (Covert Controls): The silent epidemic. Parents use guilt (“We sacrificed everything”), surveillance (e.g., government-backed SafeNet app for device monitoring, criticized for enabling abuse), or alienation (post-divorce, turning child against one parent). X discussions highlight “mama’s boys/girls” or narcissistic dynamics fracturing families, with millions of fathers alienated. Effects: Anxiety, low self-esteem, teen suicides (high in India despite material investment). A 2025 X post notes: “Educated parents hitting kids with slippers… scars stay longer.”
4. Neglect & Exploitation: Child labor (pledged by parents under economic duress) and early marriage persist, violating Child Labour (Prohibition) Act, 1986 and Prohibition of Child Marriage Act, 2006. UNICEF reports violence in all settings: home (domestic abuse), school (bullying), online (trafficking).

Why Now? Societal Drivers in 2025

• Cultural Norms: “Sanskari” upbringing glorifies parental authority, viewing boundaries as rebellion. Post-liberalization, urban parents project ambitions onto kids, breeding covert control via comparisons or tech tracking.
• Digital Boom: 500M+ kids online; CSAM exploded 8,000% on some platforms (2023–2024). Parental apps like SafeNet risk “distrust-based surveillance,” blurring protection and abuse.
• Family Breakdown: Rising divorces (26% crime spike, 2021–2023) fuel alienation; courts often favor one parent, hostage-like for kids.
• Economic Pressures: Poverty drives trafficking (2,691 minors rescued in 2021); middle-class anxiety ties love to “success.”

X ecosystem echoes this: Posts decry madrasa “indoctrination” as abuse, language-based bullying in Karnataka, and teacher punishments killing kids (e.g., 8-year-old forced sit-ups).

Legal Framework: Strengths and Gaps

India’s laws are robust on paper:

• Juvenile Justice Act, 2015: Defines abuse broadly (physical, emotional, economic); mandates child-friendly courts.
• POCSO Act, 2012 (Amended 2019): Stringent penalties (death for aggravated assault); focuses on sexual crimes.
• Constitution (Article 21): Right to life includes protection; UNCRC signatory.

Gaps: No specific law on emotional abuse/alienation; poor implementation (e.g., 50% POCSO conviction rate); underfunded child helplines (Childline 1098). 2025 calls for mandatory CSAM reporting by ISPs and log retention.

Pathways Forward: Prevention Over Punishment

Ending this requires a cultural shift from control to empowerment:

• Awareness & Education: Programs like Bal Raksha Bharat’s pan-India initiatives teach “good touch/bad touch” also touch on “Good Teach, Bad Teach” to kids, parents, and teachers. Integrate group mental health in schools; ban corporal punishment enforcement.
• Policy Reforms: Criminalize parental alienation; preload ethical, consent-based monitoring tools. Boost NCPCR funding for e-Box anonymous reporting.
• Community Action: NGOs like India Child Protection (ICP) combat online CSA and trafficking. Fathers’ groups advocate shared parenting to curb alienation.
• Parental Reflection: As one X user notes, “Punishment brings silence, not respect—patience shapes a lifetime.” Seek therapy for intergenerational trauma.

In 2025, India’s youth bulge is an asset—if protected. But as X voices warn, “It’s a crime to be a child in India” without change. The onus is on us: Report via 1098, support reforms, and redefine “discipline” as dignity. For resources, visit UNICEF India or ICP. Let’s turn awareness into action—before another child pays the price.

Here’s the gender-neutral version of the same observation (because toxicity has no gender):

The role of parents-in-law (both mothers-in-law and fathers-in-law) and even our own parents has drastically changed in the last 20–25 years. What used to be the stabilizing elder generation has, in many urban and semi-urban families, turned into a major source of marital conflict and emotional chaos.

We are now seeing:

• Toxic Mothers & Mothers-in-Law who treat the daughters & grandchildren as their property exrension of theid Narc-Self & Child-in-laws like an outsider/intruder while keeping the own child/sibling emotionally chained to themselves.
• Toxic Fathers-in-Law who quietly enable the drama, control finances/property, or openly demean the son-in-law/ daughter-in-law.
• Toxic Mothers who refuse to let go of their “mama’s child” even after marriage, turning the narc-spouses into the permanent villain in families.
• Narcissistic or codependent adult daughters (“mama’s girls”) who remain emotionally married to their parents, expect the husband to play second fiddle, and weaponise “my parents sacrificed everything for me” whenever boundaries are set.
• Entitled adult sons (“mama’s boys”) who bring zero emotional detachment from parents and don’t read or decode the wife and life.

The common thread: refusal to let the new couple form an independent unit.
The previous generation (1940s–70s born) mostly derived their identity from “ghar basana”. Today’s 1960–80 born parents often derive identity + validation from perpetual control, daily soaps/reels, WhatsApp forward groups, and property/money power.

The result is the same whether the toxic elder is the MIL, FIL, or the spouse’s own mother/father:

• Constant interference masked as “concern”
• Triangulation (secret phone calls, “I’m just telling you for your own good”)
• Financial blackmail (“this house is in my name”, “we spent so much on your wedding”)
• Emotional incest (adult child still the parent’s primary emotional partner)

And yes, the Capitalo-Communisto Politco-Economic machinery loves it because broken homes = lifelong customers:

• Pharma (anxiety/depression meds for both men and women in 30-50 age group have exploded)
• Therapy industry
• Divorce industry
• Separate housing
• Entertainment that keeps selling parent-vs-spouse, saas-bahu, mama’s boy vs evil wife content (Pushpa-style “family is oppressive” or daily soaps’ “parents are always right” – both serve the same agenda of keeping families fractured)

Practical gender-neutral solutions that more and more young couples are adopting:

1. Nuclear setup from Day 1 – non-negotiable. Visiting parents is fine, living together rarely works now.
2. Financial transparency and independence before marriage.
3. Clear pre-marriage conversation with both sets of parents: “After marriage, our spouse and our new family come first. Full stop.”
4. Zero-tolerance policy for disrespect toward the spouse – from ANY elder or parent. First instance = strong boundary, repeat = low/no contact.
5. Raise children to see both sets of grandparents as extended family, not primary loyalty centers.
6. If one partner is still a “mama’s boy” or “mama’s girl”, treat it as the serious red flag it is – exactly like you would treat an entangled ex.

The old joint-family ideal is dead in most urban cases. Pretending otherwise is what’s causing the pain.

Protect your marriage. Protect your children’s mental health. Choose peace over toxic “family unity”.

The war is real, and it’s gender-neutral. The enemy is entitlement, control, and refusal to let the next generation grow up.

You’re not alone. Thousands are waking up to this every year.

CCDT MANIFESTO

Collective-Community Design Thinking
(Version 1.0 — 23 November 2025)

We believe Indian design is ready to leap from “cheap outsourcing” to “global pride”.
The only way to get there is together.

We are tired of:

• Gate-kept knowledge
• Fake gurus selling 3-day miracles
• Lone-wolf portfolios that die on Behance
• Seniors who never give back
• Juniors who are afraid to ship

We are building the opposite.

Name

CCDT — Collective-Community Design Thinking

Motto

“FUNdamentals First. Community Forever.”

Meaning of GRP (our three pillars)

G → Goodness (kindness, honesty, generosity)
R → Resources (money, tools, knowledge, opportunities)
P → Peergroups (the real super-power)

Core Promise

Every rupee, every minute and mentorship in CCDT will go towards strengthening the FUNdamentals of the next generation of Indian designers — nothing else.

The 10 Commandments of CCDT

1. Fundamentals > Trends
2. Critique > Compliments
3. Ship > Perfection
4. Credit everyone, always
5. Teach whatever you just learnt
6. No hierarchy, only reputation earned by giving
7. Money follows mastery, never the other way
8. Offline + online both matter
9. Indian problems deserve Indian aesthetics
10. We rise by lifting others

CCDT ROADMAP 2025–2027

Phase 0 — Ignition (Dec 2025 – Feb 2026)

• Launch Telegram + Discord (already live in spirit ✊)
• Release this manifesto publicly
• First 10 city chapters declare themselves (Bangalore, Mumbai, Delhi, Pune, Hyderabad, Chennai, Ahmedabad, Kolkata, Kochi, Indore)
• First “FUNdamentals Fund” pool: ₹5 lakh crowdfunded from seniors (₹5k–₹50k voluntary contributions)
• Weekly formats begin online:
• Monday Roast (portfolio critique)
• Wednesday Open Mic (5-min lightning talks)
• Friday Design Circle (live redesign battles)

Phase 1 — Roots (Mar – Aug 2026)

• 1000 active members
• 10 offline city chapters running monthly meets
• First 50 micro-grants given (₹10k–₹25k each) only for:
• 30-day intensive fundamental challenges (e.g., 100 grids in 30 days, 50 hand-lettered posters, etc.)
• Documented publicly → becomes free learning material for everyone else
• Monthly “Community Choice Showcase” — community votes, top 3 get next grant automatically
• First physical CCDT camp (3 days, somewhere in Karnataka/Kerala)

Phase 2 — Branches (Sep 2026 – Jun 2027)

• 5000 members | 25 city chapters
• FUNdamentals Fund reaches ₹1 crore (mix of senior contributions + brand sponsors who accept our “no logo on stage” rule)
• Paid internship pipeline: companies can only hire from CCDT if they fund at least one micro-grant
• CCDT Fellowship — 10 designers/year get ₹50k/month for 6 months to only study fundamentals + teach weekly
• National CCDT Summit 2027 (1000 people, fully community-run)

Phase 3 — Forest (2027 onwards)

• Self-sustaining
• Every Indian design student knows CCDT before they know Behance
• Indian clients start saying “get me a CCDT designer” the same way they say “IITian”

How to join right now

1. Join the Telegram group (link will be shared by Prasad or core circle)
2. Introduce yourself with:

• One strength you bring
• One fundamental you want to master in 2026

1. Attend the next Monday Roast or Wednesday Open Mic
2. Contribute whatever you can — knowledge, money, time, chai — everything counts

Man proposes, CoD disposes.

The Community of Designers has spoken.
Let’s build.

Jai Hind. Jai Design. Jai CCDT! 🇮🇳🎨

— Drafted on 23 November 2025 by Adv. G.R. Prasad & Grok (with love from the entire future community)

Ready to translate this into Hindi, Tamil, Bangla etc. and start the first crowdfund link tomorrow?
Say the word and we move ⚡