S284: Happy Married Life Vs UnHappy Married Life:  What & Why the differences. How Can things be Improved?

How to create bettering public-systems that create more happy married moral lives & less Risky Worried amoral Lives?

Proposals for better error-N-terror-less Marito-legal systems which removes deathly-flaws & lacks and adds more good Family-flows by StrongeRight wedlocks.

Root of Societies are in units of families and root of families are in marriages. –GRP @ Yr2023 C.E.

Contents : 4 Important Questions and Answers affecting every Marital-Life. Preventing #Murder of Marriages & Relationships.

Evolutions to SafeNSecured #Marital-Systems & #Family_Creating_Industry 4.0.

Wishing all Indians a Scientifically and Morally Happy Holistical_Married Life. LEGAL DUE DILIGENCE FOR REALTIONS AND MARITALS.

0. Indian Marriages_Version 0.1 @1856 Hindu marriages..

1. Indian Marriages_1.0 (<1950 Constitution Year)

2. Indian Marriages_2.0 (>Hindu Marriage Act 1955) Mom’s Birth year.

3. Indian Marriages_3.0 (post 1983 498A Dowry Law) 1st Most Abused law used by abusive Spouses.

4. Indian Marriages_3.1 (post 2005 Domestic Violence Act) 2nd most used (20%) & abused (80%) law by abusive spouses. Also BNS 69 in 2023 or Marital-Rape laws.

5. Indian Marriages_4.0+ (UCC and Marriers Protection Act maybe 2024-30) Marital Disaster Management Act. Law to be made less abusable.

Which is the highest or critical marital Relational_compatibility for a happy life ? Options 1. Astrological compatibility 2. Sexual_Spiritual Compatibility 3. Classte_Socio_Financial Compatibility or 4. Ideological or moral compatibility.

#Secrets, Secretariats & Secretions basically needed for a Happy Married life.

Rationalistic Marriages Vs Ritualistic Marriages

1. What is the History and Customs of Marriage in Various cultures and its Importance.

2. What are the must read texts for marriage? What defines & controls your Marriage and everyone’s marriage..(Clue: Its not what your school or newspaper or TV/movies informs or make you believe in.)

3. What and Why is the Difference between a Happy and Unhappy Married life?

4. How can things(Marital System) be improved?

Answers:

1. What is the History and Customs of Marriage in Various cultures and its Importance.

What is a marriage?  It’s a Socio-legal Tripartite Contract between the two spouse and the society (Religion, Nation-State and Nature). Note if it was only between two they both will do it in agreement only with 2(Spouses) not with others reference, presence or influence.. like live-in or affair (unregistered with society). Marriage is fundamental to any society as it creates a family which is a replicable unit of society and its not an individual.. an individual is un succeeding or replicable themself. Only a family can create or succeed another family.

There are as many different ways such social sanctions and Cultural-Political authorities create the Marital-Sanctity (Sanction+Authority). Who may be called upon to initially authorize or ritualize and later arbitrate any dispute or contentions.

Eg. Religiously viewing.. In case of Abrahamic Religions the Church, Masjid or Synagogue or Priest, Mullah-Kaazi and Rabbi have system & power to teach, train (Sex-edu), unite, arbitrate, dissolve or recreate the marital bonds. With or without the interference and interventions of the political state (nation-governmental agencies).

In case of Indic, Asianic, Oriental and Native American, Australian, African and Tribal Islandic, Marital/Familial Cultures like from Hinduism, buddhism, Jainism, Sikhism.. etc are prehistoric and decentralized unlike the Abrahamic Religions of the  Vatican(Roman Catholic), Mecca(Islam) or Jerusalem(Jew). Hence there is lot of confusion of  qualities to be in an ideal marriage partnership, in spouses (as parents, husbands, wives, kids and supports).

Thus Kalyana-Shastras & Kamasutra like ancient texts are outdated with only focus on physical relationship not the intellectual or social relationships measures that are required for a happy married life. Which the later religions like abrahamic faiths have devised through reforms and systemic-interventions. Indic Marital Cultures are chaotic & lack a systemic way of marital-training, Coupling and Marital-support system. 

The Indic-Religions have unscientific destructive Horoscope-Compatibility and divisive Classte Compatibility which give risky and suboptimal coupling and also have been historically-colonially subdued by the monotheistic-monopolistic predatory Faiths-campaigns.. thus a renaissance or reformation is pending.  This failure is what we can see demonstrated in the marital lifes of 2 Hindus who are the current political national leaders..

Some generic useful links

1. https://thehealthymarriage.org/happy-married-life-tips/

Some Useful Marital Tips & Links:

3. Pre-Marital Tests: https://grpvcare2dare.design.blog/2022/09/11/s197-maintaining-medical-mental-martial-marital-fitnesses/

1. Premarital Stage: Improve your Relational-Quotient & Marital-Awareness: Use the traditional Socio-Background Verification methods or the InDia-method to choose your spouse wisely it may make or put breaks in your life. Use services of Marriage-Planners to do due-diligence and marital-projections of compatibilities and risks.

5M Fitness in Realationships. https://grpvcare2dare.design.blog/2023/02/06/s264-reelationships-vs-realationships-which-is-which/

2. During Maritals: Have a proper wedding-planners because this event a week prior and after will be reference points for the rest of the marital life.. as your parent or ur elder uncles and aunts about their marital Vows and Woes they faced at their weddings, they will tell you clearly with spot on memory. As more cultural differences among the spousal families more the chances of conflicts.

3. 1 to 2 Years Of Marriage: Treat it like a probationary period. Use this to develop basic understanding between the 2 spouses and their family members. Develop 100% Trust and evaluate your commonalities and conflicts to be in magic relational ratio of 7:1.. If this sustains for 1 year or 2years then only step into the next phase of bringing in a new factor of Children.

If Without establishing a trustable relational equation and testing it for a year.. bringing into it the factor of kids will complicate the marital-bond and there is a chance the process of pair-bonding gets derailed by the new child as it produces higher levels of Oxytocin & Cortisol in the marriage (Parent-kid bonding, sleepless nights, Post-partum Depression, Maternity leave Blues.. etc)  and the child-parental bonding adds stress to the new spousepair-bonding if the kid is born before the concrete spousal-bond sets in and is tested. This replaces the spousal-bonding with neo-natal bonding hence the risk of disloyalty and fake cases between the spouses increases in a corrupting socio-legal system which hails and rewards psuedo Single-parenting as an achievement. This is disastrous if there is a narcissistic influence from the in-law more so if the mother-inlaws are involved, and is guaranteed more Narc inlaws and a non equiarchal family-clan are involved .

Use these resources in first 2 to 3 years of marriage:

1. MARITAL Research Institute:  https://www.gottman.com/

2. Marital intimacy: https://maritalintimacyinst.com/lauras-resources/

4. 2-7 years of Marriage: After the initial Pair bonding is set and well established, if you could have a year or 2 without any major marital-disputes or which has been conflict-resolved and settled happily. This is when children and stable Parenting come in the family life and the stage of expansion and scaling up comes like in a new company or entrepreneurship. This is why the period of 7 year itch is observed where most marriages fail within 1 year, 3 years or 7 years.  Even if wife commits suicide within 7 years its default taken as Dowry death in IPC.. Section 304-A.

5. 7years and above: When the marriage has withstood these years it has more probability to be for life.. but not to be taken for granted.. it’s a constant garden tree.  That needs watering of love and care to get the shared fruits for the spouses, families, communities & society.

More above Questions You can try answering in comments below.. or await further answers.

3 laws needed for more Happier-N-Safer INDIAN Marriages and less Risky & Unhappy Maritals by Indian UCC-legal System.

1. Indian Contract Act 1872 is in place for good buisness systems in India, Indian Marital Contracts Act, 20## needed for good maritals system in India.

2. Indian Partnership Act 1932, facilitate & regulates good professional Partnerships system in India, similarly Indian Romantic-familial Spousal Partnership Act 20##, needed to facilitate good personal partnerships in Indian Citizens homes.

3. Consumer Protection Act 2019, safeguards the Consumers against Toxic Businesses and Companies.. Similarly Marriers Protection Act, 20## needed for Safeguarding naive marriers from the toxic Maritals, narcs and illegal families.

Related Relevant Resources:

1. Real-Marriages Vs Fake-Savages: https://grpvcare2dare.design.blog/2023/02/06/s264-reelationships-vs-realationships-which-is-which/

2. Just like not all Chocolates are made in Switzerland or even in Europe, similarly not All Marriages are made only in heaven. How to know which Marriages were made in Heaven(+ve), Havan(0) or Hell(-ve)?. Depends on whether both reach back to heaven, hospital or both go through hell? Whatever the case maybe but Marital-Certificates and Divorce_Documents are made in govt offices registrar, lawyers offices & in courts only. This is why better UCC is needed so marital system can be debiased.

Sources: https://grpvcare2dare.design.blog/2023/07/19/rational-ucc-proposals-2023/

4. eg of Marital-abuse https://www.indiatoday.in/india/story/karnataka-woman-father-in-law-walking-stick-cctv-mangaluru-arrested-2513790-2024-03-12

5. IF we dont stand for others right today, no one will br there to stand for us tomorrow: Humara Rights group: https://chat.whatsapp.com/9PMcJmJGUjc0t0enr4BmqL